Alexa, play Independent by Webbie. "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means? She got her own house. She got her own car. Two jobs, work hard she a..." If y'all are real ones, y'all definitely sang this as y'all read it. Growing up, I remember when this song came out, it was played everywhere! For once, women had a man hyping them up for being able to do everything on their own.
But when we look at God's original design for things, we see that something is off. Where we were priding ourselves on being independent, God was telling us that it's not good for man to be alone. Out of all things God created that were good, His first instance of mentioning "not good" was when it came to Adam having no helper. If God of the universe can notice this, why can't we?
Unfortunately, we can go back and forth sharing different viewpoints and ideologies about why this is so. But I believe it boils down to one thing: pride. Scripture tells us that in the last days men will be lovers of themselves and boastful. (2 Timothy 3:2) When ego goes unchecked, it forms trends and ideologies that have the scent of satan written all over it. It doesn't help that we give accolades to those who have been able to accomplish everything on their own either.
Truthfully speaking, you need a helper. We lean on God in the spirit, but He also desires for us to have someone there in the physical. For those of you who have a worldly perspective on marriage, it's time to change it. Man should not be independent of woman nor woman independent of man. It's in God's will for us to not accomplish everything on our own. So please don't stress yourself out attempting to do so.
When God sends your helper, cherish them, honor them and more importantly love them as the Lord Himself loves you.
“And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.””
Genesis 2:18 NKJV
“Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord.”
I Corinthians 11:11 NKJV
Reflection Question(s): We invite you to discuss below.
What was life like growing up for you? Were you forced to be independent? How has that helped/hindered you? What keeps you from accepting help? How will you heal from your past and accept the help God is sending you for your future?